Apparently, we celebrated a little too much:)

 I’m pregnant.

Wow.

If the past week of near constant nasuea and vomitting was any indication- and the fact that the pregnancy test immediately turned to PREGNANT as soon as I took it… looks like I got knocked up! LOL

Guess that explains a WHOLE lot!

 So, my blog’s focus is going to be changing. I am not trying to lose weight, obviously, but I don’t want to gain a ton of weight either. I’m going to focus on mainting my good food habits and try and make this a very healthy pregnancy.

I told my friend, “I don’t even know why I am going to Weight Watchers today. I KNOW I gained weight.”

 ”You don’t know that.” He replied.

“Oh, no. I KNOW!” I said, and rolled my eyes rather snottily. It was a little mean. I’m a bit short and hormonal. He just shook his head and told me to go. So I did. Didn’t want to.  Wanted to stay home. I grumbled all the way to the meeting.

I go, stand in line, took my little weight tracker out of its plastic sleeve, and stared wistfully at the -8.4. I didn’t want it to be higher!

The lady in front of me was debating what Fruities to buy  while her son was screaming about chocolate.  I almost slid right out the door as soon as he turned on his ridiculous beeping Wii or whatever the kids are playing these days.

“I’m sorry! I can take you!” The nice receptionist said. So, begrudgingly, I stand on the scale.

She starts printing out my weight sticker, when suddenly I yelled.. “OH CRAP! I forgot to take my keys out of my pocket. And those weigh, like 10 pounds!”  Yes, those were my exact words. I reach in my pocket and pull out my key chain that holds precisely 3 keys. ”OK! Do it again!”  I step back on the scale, and exhale, in case, you know, the oxygen in my lungs will add extra weight.

The receptionist did not hide her smirk and handed  my tracker back to me. I peek at it with one eye closed, expecting to see a gain of 264903458934 pounds (Damn you, butter!) and wouldn’t you know? I’m down .8!  Happy day!

 ”Oh WOW!” I said, ” I thought I gained!”

 The receptionist smiled back “You really don’t think those keys made that much of a difference, do you?”

Sweet.

This weeks lesson- if you want to see a loss, follow the program!  It’s not always going to be like that!

And yes, yes I am happy to see you.

 The past week has been out of the ordinary.  Last week was my anniversary with my boyfriend, so we had a big dinner. That same day, my best friend goes into the hospital to have her baby. We’ve been going back and forth to see her all week- and we’ve not been at home for dinner since Tuesday. But instead of eating healthily, I have been eating at restaurants and I can’t seem to get a grasp of how many points I’ve been eating.  My refrigerator is not stocked with the food I need to be eating… just left over boston market and other take out reamains.

  I have not been journaling… I have to get on that right away.  If I don’t get back in control quickly, this is going to get out of hand!

My fat pants are falling off my ass!  It’s a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

 Gotta take pleasure in the small things!

 So, I am only 2.6 lbs close to my first, goal- 10lbs.

This week’s goal:

 I am going to try and figure out how to get a ginormous old (but relatively unused) Nordic Track Treadmill into my Chevy Malibu (ha!), up a flight of stairs, and safely into my den so I can get my booty moving. 

Mini goal- Make a new playlist for my ipod to use with the new treadmill.  Any suggestions?

 If I ever…ever! put that much butter in my food, I would never  be able to leave my house.  And yet she smiles, looking oh-so-ultra cute, and puts butter on her meal without blinking an eye. Yum-o! Eat up! Grrrrrr!  

 I look at butter and I immediately gain 99940302485.2 pounds. And I don’t look nearly as cute as she does- I have that evil look of someone with their hand caught both in the cookie jar and a tub of icing.

Which is sad, because butter is delicous and tasty. I watch food network, and I’m both horrified at the use of butter and slightly turned on at the same time.

You’re a bad bad tasty dish, aren’t you!

I am startingto come to my senses about the butter=evil debate. Maybe- just maybe, I can come to a healthy mix of real food and thinness in my life. I am a Taurus, ladies and gentlemen. I cannot live without the richness in my life. I tried to deny myself that before ….and I’d  sit around and be furious drinking a skim milk late while my thin friends drank the milk in it’s whole fat, delicous goodness.

 Why should I deny myself? Why can I not have something that tastes good? I would much rather have  a teaspoon of butter than a vat of fat free chemicals.

This I pledge to myself– I will cook the  best foods I can- and make them as healthy as I can without sacrificing the taste. I will not use processed foods (as much as possible). I will learn to enjoy a smaller portion on the foods I want.  I want to be able to eat- enjoy my foods, and not gorge.

 And dammit- I will have butter! 

Until Friday.  I had a horrible day at work- I made a mistake and it costed me about $1000. I got yelled at by the client, and by time I got home I was exhausted, depressed and crying.  Trying to figure out something points-friendly was the furthest thing from my mind. So, we went out, got cheeseburgers. I had a burger and a diet coke.  The little voice in my head told me to hold the mayo and the cheese, which was good.

 I could tell it was clearly tied to the stress.  For the first time I saw myself order the burger, and I thought that I would NOT have ordered this if I wasn’t so upset. And, even though I ate it anyway, I realized that it was not going to solve my problem.  I had points to spare, so I didn’t beat myself up over it.  But,  I will not always have the points to spare- and next time it could be a problem.

I am going to have to be prepared next time. When I am stressed, I am going to ask my boyfriend for help in choosing a dinner that won’t let me regret my choices.

So,  I’m eyeing this cool little gadget for when I hit my 10%.  I’ll get it in pink, of course. I rarely use my cell phone for talking on the phone. Instead, I use it to text, check my email, and google search stuff I need to know right away. Why would I use my phone to talk? That’s crazy.

And maybe for my first 10lbs, I’ll buy myself some ballet slippers. I just got the NYC ballet dvd and let me tell you, I feel like a freakin ballerina.  Not because I’m especially a good dancer or even graceful by any means, but it was so fun! Brought me back to my days as a child of dance class and tutus.

Except much harder.

There’s this one part, where you lay on your stomach and arch your back up so you are supposed to make this beautiful arch and you squeeze your shoulders together to work your shoulders. Ha!  My back does not bend that way, thank you very much.  I was able to get far enough off the floor so I wouldn’t get rug burn on my nose when I tilted my head towards the dvd. The lady on the dvd had arched herself so everything above her belly button was off the floor.

  I had to pause the dvd so I could have a good 5 minutes of laughter.

I know I just started-this time- but it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve started.  And I look at the number and I’m like damn- that’s a LOT of weight to lose.  Then I wonder if I can do it. I know I want to. I know I need to, if I want to live the life I want. But, stick-to-it-ness isn’t really part of my vocabulary. I’m really one of those people who run at something full steam…then I run out of steam and I’m on to something else.

I wonder if I should stop looking at the amount I have to lose, and just break it up into small parts. I can lose 10lbs… maybe I should just focus on that?

I didn’t really know how many points a hoagie was, but I had my 35waps to use, and about 13 points left for the day. So I figure I will use what’s left for the hoagie, drink water, and have 2 beers at the bar.

 Then, I get home to journal and I figured that a hoagie was about 25pts. Ouch baby, mega ouch. Note to self- get a turkey sandwhich next time.

This week I am going to have to be very careful and make sure I don’t go over and use my wpa.